I am going to start this entry by asserting something about myself very clearly: I am absolutely not prejudiced against anyone for something they can't help. I reserve the right to criticise anyone for anything they do or say, for what they purport to believe and the way they live their lives. That is my entitlement in a free society. But I accept no form of discrimination against anyone resulting from their ethnicity, gender, age or orientation.
So why is it that the recent debate surrounding the freedom of gay couples to adopt children is troubling me? I know straight, married couples who have been the most appalling parents. I have seen lesbian couples and heard about gay male couples who appear to make excellent parents, creating a secure and loving environment in which children can thrive.
But for some reason, the idea of gay couples being freely able to adopt, worries me. Perhaps it is the fact that the debate seems to focus so much on the rights of the prospective adopters. It is their “right” to be able to adopt, despite their orientation. But what about the rights of the children? Do they have the right to choose whether to be adopted by a same-gender couple? Are they able to make an informed choice in the matter? Whilst discrimination is wrong, we know that children can, sometimes, be cruel. What would the adopted children of a gay couple have to put up with in the playground when their classmates find out. Is it fair to fight the equality battle through our children? I think perhaps not.
The future of our society depends entirely on our children. How they behave, how they work and how, in turn, they raise their own kids, will shape the way that society evolves. We know that single parents and adopters can be a fantastic example to their children and raise them superbly. But in deliberately creating an “unnatural” or unconventional arrangement, might we be unwittingly introducing an unnecessary complication into the upbringing of already vulnerable children?
These are certainly uncomfortable questions. Moreover, as a society, we fight for equality and assert that everyone is equal. Can we have it both ways, and say that gay couples are equal to straight couples, but with a few exceptions? This smacks of hypocrisy and creates more questions than it answers. The fundamental issue for me, however, is that the rights of a child to a safe and secure upbringing must override every other consideration. If there is any doubt at all in our minds, we must always err on the side of protecting the child, and the rights of adults must take second place, without exception.
